Why You Shouldn’t Text Back When You Are Angry
And how to actually not do it
I guess everyone knows this situation: You read a WhatsApp message and get completely unnerved and pissed off by its content. The temptation is strong to pick up your cell phone and fire back to release your anger.
Pause for a moment.
Put the phone aside and wait a few seconds. Take a deep breath in and a deep breath out. Was this text surely meant like you think it was? On average, 93% of the information in a conversation is transmitted through facial expressions, gestures, and voice intonation. Only about 7% is transferred through the actual words. That gives a whole lot of room for interpretation.
Hurtful interpretations occur easily. Even more so if the person with whom you write is close to you. Yet, the other person may have meant it quite differently. Oftentimes, even the 100% of information in face-to-face conversations is not enough to avoid misunderstandings. Therefore it is a good idea to keep a cool head while writing.
I regularly find myself in situations where I have to remember this rule. Often enough I have ignored it in the past. Usually, I did regret it very quickly, because it only made life unnecessarily difficult for me and the other person.
To save you from this regret, it is also a good idea to look at the context of the message. What was written in the messages before? What is the relationship with this person like right now? What is the probability that this statement was actually written to hurt you? In my experience, it is rather seldom the case that a text was meant as negatively as it is interpreted.
When in doubt, I always go with a positive interpretation.
Even if the text was as nasty as you initially toughed, a calm reaction will make you look very confident and often helps to relax the situation.
If it is absolutely not possible to calm down your emotions, there is always one thing left you can do: ask. In general, I can recommend it very much to simply ask your conversation partner about the meaning of a statement, in case it is unclear to you. As simple as this tactic may sound, it has often helped me to clear up misunderstandings and improve relationships.
In summary: do not make your life unnecessarily difficult. Put your cell phone aside until your emotions calmed down, think about the context, and if in doubt, choose the more positive interpretation of the statement or just ask about the meaning.
